Being a Writer™ is probably the scariest thing many of us will ever do. When I received an e-mail to write an article for the JRW Newsletter, my initial reaction was “Someone clearly made a mistake. I’m nobody. I’ve won no awards, haven’t written anything important since COVID, three years ago.” Then I took a deep breath, and asked: Why am I so scared?
People much smarter than me have called writing a solitary exercise, a deep-dive into existential dilemma, ultimate self-expression, preaching art. But at its core, I think all forms of art—writing included—are about Fear. I write Fear with a capital F because Fear to me is a living, breathing thing hunched on my shoulder, warm breath on the back of my neck. A monster that loves me. Even as I write this, Fear tells me to stop. “No one cares about your feelings.” That voice has always been there. A trusted friend and confidante.
We’re all afraid, and usually that is a feature, not a bug. Without a healthy dose of Caution, Consideration, and Foresight, we’d recklessly endanger ourselves. We’d ruin our progress, ignore red flags, and come to grievous harm. Too much Fear, however, paralyzes. Chances we don’t take. Opportunities that pass us by. There are many reasons we write. Many more why someone might give up before they ever start.
It’s too hard.
I am not good enough.
I have nothing important to say.
I will never make it in that industry.
I can’t afford to be a starving artist.
Sensible reasons. Valid points! All born from Fear. We call it perfectionism, being realistic, being honest with ourselves. Fear will say anything to keep you safe. Safe but stuck. And stuck gets boring. Every novel proves this. If a hero has no problems and doesn’t make decisions that could plunge them into danger, we find ourselves bored stiff and toss the book aside for something more exciting. And as much as I hate to admit it, Fear can never be completely killed.
So what can we do about it? I realize I’m sounding all doom and gloom: Too bad, we’re always going to feel like this, might as well pack it in. But that’s not the point. For one, this is excellent news! It means we are not alone. We are perfectly sane and normal. That’s amazing! That said, I do have some suggestions, developed from years of expertise being a grade-A chicken.*
(*This is neurotypical advice. Your Mileage May Vary.)
- Overcoming Fear involves a lot of psyching it out, keeping it on its toes.
- I leave my known environments for somewhere new.
- I switch up projects and work on something else for a while.
- I reach out to a trusted friend to remind me that I should definitely not just quit and become a CPA.
- I tell myself I’ll only work for five minutes, after which I get to doom-scroll the night away.
- I tell myself I’ll only type “This is stupid.” and “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
- I allow myself to feel anxious. If, in those five minutes, all I do is write one sentence, a single paragraph, that’s something, isn’t it?
In 2022, I resolved to do one thing each week that scared me. Now I’m not suggesting that to fight Fear you must quit your day job and invest your savings into Moleskin journals, though if that floats your boat and you have the privilege, go for it? I’m referring to more garden-variety Anxieties, the Lesser Worries if you will. I encourage us to Slay That Dragon, as Delilah Dawson might say.
Make that phone call. Read that letter. Send that text.
We start small, overcoming one little hurdle at a time. As that gets easier (over time), we push harder.
Write that scene. Send that manuscript. Query that agent. Pitch at that conference.
Half the time it ends up being “not that bad!” Courage does not throw Fear off our backs. Courage just means to do it scared, to borrow a phrase from the inestimable Elyse Myers. Then make our characters do it, too. Even when we don’t think we can.
Do it anyway. Do it scared.
About the Author
Dr. Laura Q. Jimenez is a speculative fiction author, scientist, and professor in the heartland of Virginia. Her short fiction has appeared in a Dragon Soul Press anthology, and her dieselpunk-fairytale Piper was the editor’s top choice for that year. Her poetry has also appeared in the Horror Writers of America Poetry Showcase. She is a member of James River Writers and the Richmond chapter of NaNoWriMo. She’s one of those rare breeds who is not afraid to speak in front of crowds, as her scientific career has seen her lecture and present to groups ranging from 10 to 100 people.